You don’t need to be on the same page, just in the same chapter.

I always thought I needed to be in exactly the same place as my partner, that we both needed to want babies at the same time, we needed to want exactly the same things at exactly the same time….

Then I realised that I just wanted to be with myself, being on the same page as someone isn’t seeing them for who they are or wanting to be in a partnership, it’s wanting someone to be yourself.

The beauty of a relationship isn’t the similarities, it’s about being able to see the difference, to accept another person and to co-create something that works for both of you.

Ok yes, let’s caveat, if one of you wants kids and the other is saying hell no … you’re probable not in the same book let alone the same chapter. But where are you really? And where is your partner… can you see them for who they are and be curious about what that might be like for them?

How do we know if we’re in the same chapter … questions to ask each other.

•⁠ ⁠Do you have a timescale for when you see your self settling down/getting married/having a family?

•⁠ ⁠What does a Sunday look like in your ideal life?

•⁠ ⁠What does ambition look like for you, and does your partner's answer sit comfortably alongside yours?

•⁠ ⁠How close do you want to be to your family? Does distance feel like freedom or like loss?

•⁠ ⁠How important is financial security to you, and what does that actually mean in practice?

And above all, where are you? Can you answer all of these questions first? What chapter, or Era, are you in?

To your journey, with love and intention, 

Alexandra